Word of Truth Fellowship

Welcome back to our series on divorce and remarriage from a biblical perspective. This is Part 3, where we’ll dive into the writings of Paul in the New Testament letters. As I mentioned before, this is a massive topic, and I know I’ve only scratched the surface. If there’s something I haven’t covered or if you have questions like, “What about this verse?” or “How do we apply this in our context?”—next week, I’ll host a dedicated Q&A session. This won’t be marriage counseling; it’s strictly about exploring Scripture for instruction and inspiration.

Remember, all Scripture is for our edification, but some cultural elements—like head coverings—don’t directly apply today (and no, head coverings aren’t about veils or cloth; that’s a topic for another day). If you have pushback or alternative views on these passages, bring them! We don’t have to agree on everything to be brothers and sisters in Messiah. Diversity in the body is what makes us unique, not robotic.

Let’s jump in with a quick recap for context.

Recap: The Foundation from Matthew 19

In Matthew 19 (NIV), some Pharisees test Jesus by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” Jesus replies by pointing back to creation: “Haven’t you read that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

When pressed further, Jesus explains, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality (porneia), and marries another woman commits adultery.”

This ties back to Deuteronomy 24, the only Old Testament passage directly addressing divorce and remarriage. The context is hardened hearts (echoing Jeremiah), and “porneia” encompasses a range of sexual immoralities like fornication, adultery, incest, and more. Divorce is permitted—not required—for these reasons, but it’s not for trivial matters like burnt food or messy habits. Importantly, this applies to married couples, not betrothed ones. Legitimate divorce allows remarriage, but only for porneia, not “any cause.”

With that foundation, let’s turn to Paul’s letters, starting with Romans 7.

Romans 7: Not About Divorce, But an Analogy for Freedom from Sin

Many point to Romans 7 as a key text on divorce and remarriage, but I argue it has nothing to do with divorce. Let’s read it closely.

Romans 7:1-3 (NIV): “Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.”

Paul addresses believers who know the law (Torah). He’s not talking to unbelievers. The law (Deuteronomy 24) allows divorce and remarriage—you just can’t return to your first spouse. But here, Paul focuses on death, not divorce. A widow is free to remarry, but living with another man while married is adultery because no divorce has occurred.

Paul continues in verse 4: “So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God.”

This is an analogy: Just as death ends a marriage covenant, we’ve “died” to the law of sin through Messiah, freeing us to “marry” righteousness and bear fruit for God. We’re released from what held us captive (sin), serving in the Spirit, not the old written code. The law itself is holy (verse 12), but sin used it to produce death. Paul contrasts the “law of sin and death” with God’s holy law.

Romans 7 uses marriage as a metaphor for our relationship with God—we were “married” to sin but now to righteousness. It has zero to do with divorce guidelines.

Historical Context: Marriage in the Greco-Roman World

To understand Paul’s writings, consider the cultural backdrop. In David Instone-Brewer’s book Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context, he notes that Greco-Roman marriage certificates focused more on divorce provisions than death. Divorce was expected and common.

Archaeologists have found first-century tombstones praising couples who stayed married until death—rare enough to engrave! Roman historians described women counting years by marriages, not emperors. Divorce was easy and frequent.

This explains Jesus’ disciples’ shock in Mark 10: “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replies that marriage isn’t for everyone—some should remain eunuchs (celibate). Paul echoes this in 1 Corinthians 7.

1 Corinthians 7: Practical Guidance on Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage

1 Corinthians 7 is a go-to chapter for those claiming remarriage is forbidden. Let’s break it down.

Paul responds to the Corinthians’ questions: “Now for the matters you wrote about: ‘It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman’” (verse 1). This counters asceticism forbidding marriage (echoed in 1 Timothy 4).

Verse 2: “But since sexual immorality (porneia) is occurring, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.”

No mention of “first” wife/husband—it’s “his own,” emphasizing monogamy over polygamy. This aligns with 1 Timothy 3:2 (“husband of one wife” or “one-woman man”) for overseers. It doesn’t disqualify remarried people; otherwise, Paul (unmarried) and childless leaders like Jesus would be out. Repentance covers past sins, including divorce.

Verse 3-5: Husbands and wives must fulfill conjugal rights mutually. Don’t deprive each other except by agreement for prayer, then reunite to avoid temptation from lack of self-control.

This echoes Exodus 21:10—if a man takes another wife (polygamy context), he can’t reduce the first’s food, clothing, or marital rights. If he does, she can leave freely (divorce). This applied even to slave wives elevated to full status. Jewish texts like the Mishnah and Dead Sea Scrolls extend this: Neglect or adultery grounds legitimate divorce.

Paul notes differences between men and women—hormonal cycles affect desire. Conjugal rights should be given freely, not demanded, keeping the marriage bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4).

Verse 6-9: Paul wishes all were single like him (a concession, not command), but each has their gift. To the unmarried and widows: Stay single if you can, but marry if self-control lacks—better than burning with passion.

“Unmarried” could include divorcees or never-married. Paul advocates remarriage for widows, debunking ideas that you’re “still married” after death (contra some like John Piper).

Verse 10-11: To the married (not Paul, but the Lord): Wives shouldn’t separate (divorce); if she does, remain unmarried or reconcile. Husbands shouldn’t divorce.

“Separate” and “divorce” were synonymous in Greco-Roman divorce certificates. Leaving home equaled divorce—no papers needed.

Why “remain unmarried”? Context: “Present distress” (verse 26)—persecution or hardship in Corinth. Stay as you are to avoid added troubles. But verse 28 clarifies: If you marry, you haven’t sinned.

Verse 12-16: To mixed marriages (Paul’s judgment): If an unbelieving spouse consents to stay, don’t divorce—the believer sanctifies the home. But if the unbeliever leaves, let them: “The brother or sister is not enslaved” (douleō, emphatic freedom, echoing Exodus 21’s release). You’re free from the marriage bond; God calls us to peace.

Verse 17-24: Live as called—slave or free, married or not. Don’t become slaves to men (verse 23).

Verse 25-28: On virgins/betrothed (Paul’s judgment): Due to distress, stay as is. But marriage isn’t sin.

Verse 39-40: A wife is bound while her husband lives; if he dies, she’s free to remarry anyone—in the Lord. But Paul thinks singleness brings happiness.

Paul advocates staying married but allows divorce for porneia, neglect (food/clothing/rights), or abandonment by unbelievers. Remarriage is permitted in legitimate cases.

Conclusion: Stay Married if Possible, But Grace Abounds

God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16, though translation is tricky), but permits it for hardened hearts. Better not to marry if you can’t commit to loving and submitting (Ephesians 5). Control urges or marry and endure “for better or worse.”

I pray this blesses you. Next week: Q&A—rewatch if needed, and bring your thoughts! Shalom.